Post by Martin on Jul 21, 2010 19:31:05 GMT -5
Topic: Answers to my questions
Date: may 4th, 2009
Yo Diary
I have given Sarah her present when she returned she was really touched I could see the small smile on her face, it was small, but beautiful, she thanked me and I told her it was no problem...I called her babygirl it was not something I planned, it just happened I was surprised once it left my mouth and instantly kicking myself I was scared it would frighten her away thankfully it didn't.
I had asked Sarah to play for me and she did the music was amazing, the melody's were fantastic, but what I loved even more was her voice hearing her angelic voice it was alluring it inspired me literally, all the problems I had faded away and I felt motivated. I sort of felt addicted to her singing I wanted more. I told her that she was good and I found her inspiring.
Today was an intense day I learned everything about Sarah my questions about her were answered. As per to our agreement I gave Sarah the day off, well she haven't start work yet, I thought it would be bad for her to start then have a day off only after such short time working.
I wanted to get her into a routine. I looked at the clock on my laptop and saw it was 10am. I wondered why Sarah was still in bed normally she was up and about at 7am. I went to check on her to my surprise she had locked the door.
I knocked on the door and heard no answer. I knew Sarah was awake, I could hear her breathing, it was actually slower than normal, but her heart was still beating normally so I shrugged it off and resumed checking my finances.
I wanted to buy a night club it was a random idea I know, but it was something new and I still felt inspired to try something new.
I checked back at the clock and it was 2:30 pm. I began to worry, I know she said she wanted to be alone, but I couldn't bare it I needed to see her and I needed to know that she was alright. I started banging on her door and finally I had enough... I kicked down her door not even using a fraction of my true strength.
I walked to her, swearing too fast for her weak human hearing to hear and pulled off the blankets. I looked at her in shock she was huddled up with her hands over her stomach like she was trying to hold her insides together she looked pale....almost lifeless for the longest moment.... I was afraid she was dead until I snapped out of my state of shock to hear her heart beating and her shallow breathing.
I could see she was alive, in body, but she was near dead mentally...I had to snap her out of this. I picked Sarah up from the bed and carried her to the bathroom, lowered her into the shower and turned on the cold tap, I watch her snap awake as she got soaked in the cold water.
I watched her worried, I did not know what to do if this did not bring her back, did she take any drugs? How did she sneak them past me? I don't know, I haven't been near humans in over two hundred years, should I have taken her to the hospital.
Sarah awoke from her catatonic state with a vengeance, as the blond dye slowly washed out.
She cussed at me and I climbed into the shower and sat beside her, I did not care that I was getting soaked by the water. I wrapped my arm around her and decided the only thing I could do was be there for her try yo show her she is not alone.
She told me to leave her alone and she even tried to push me away, I would have laughed, if I didn't notice the pain in her eyes.
They looked broken, like they would never sparkle with curiosity and mischief again.
I asked her what was wrong and why she was hurting so bad? She finally broke down into tears and the goth makeup washed away faster from the shower water and her tears.
She told me everything, how she never knew her father, that much I knew from the other day. She told me about her mother, her mother the waitress who had consumed too much liquor to the point of being drunk, Sarah told me this in her own words.
"I wasn't always this fuck up that you see before you, I used to be one of those sweet and innocent girls. I did my homework, avoided drugs and liquor, I made the honours roll and even made the golden promise.
I never intended to have sex until marriage, but then there was this guy who I thought I loved he was older and well not that smart...turns out I was even more of a retard, than he was .
I did his homework for him and we went out and one night we went all the way. So my first use of contraception was prayer, turns out it did not work so well. I got pregnant and I managed to hide it for a while, I eventually told my mother. She called me a slut, tramp, a no good whore that put out for any guy that came my way."
I hissed hearing the foul things her mother said, I did not know her mother, but I do know this I wanted her dead. I hugged her tighter just a little, the last thing I needed to do was kill this poor fragile girl. I listened as she continued her story.
"So my mother kicked me out she said "a whore belongs on the streets."
"I was homeless and I went to see the father but he denied the child of course, silly me to think there was such a thing as love."
"I had one last place left to turn to. My aunt's and uncle in-law. They were nice enough to take me in. My aunt was a teacher so she told the education department about my situation and got me into this distance education program."
"My aunt took real good care of me during the pregnancy. She asked if I was giving the baby up for adoption. I told her no, I wanted my baby. I wanted to give her all the love and support I never got I had plans...they were good plans."
"During the childbirth it was hard, they doped me up good, I was so stoned on and I was greatful, because it was agony, but she was worth it the Nurse helped me hold her...I don't even remember it"
Sarah broke down she was crying and seeing her in this agony it hurt me too....I did not like seeing her suffer, I leaned in closer to close off the distance
"I was so stoned my memory is hazy from the drugs. I remember my aunt coming in after they took my baby away, she told me I wouldn't be a fit mother. I was just a child, that I could never give this baby anything but misery and if I loved her as much as I said I did then I should give her up for adoption for the baby's own good.
I signed the documents at least I think I did...I don't know anymore."
"All I know is I woke up the next day asking where my baby girl was and the nurse told me."
"I asked my aunt and uncle and they said that they did me and Jayne a favor that we both deserved a normal life. I did not want a normal life, fuck being normal, I wanted Jayne..."
My uncle told me the documents were signed and that I should just move on, he told me I was welcome to stay with him and my aunt." "
The day I left, the nurse gave me a photo of Jayne, she was beautiful, she had the most amazing eyes any baby ever had. After the hospital I was dead inside...I tried to kill myself so I could be dead on the outside too."
She removed the glove from her right hand and showed me her scar. I traced my hand over it softly she did not move. I looked at her and saw the hurt in her eyes it was almost unbareable.
I wondered why she got under my skin, why is it I fell in love with her, why did she affect me so deeply and change the core of my existance?
She continued with her story
"My aunt and uncle placed me in a mental hospital. I was locked up there for six months. I kept trying to kill myself, hell they even had me in a straight jacket. I attended therapy and I hated it..... like talking would help me..it woulden't bring her back."
"What made me stop trying to kill myself was the bars. I felt like a caged bird and so I stopped."
"I was in the hospital for six months before finally being released. I returned to my aunt's, seeing as no one else wanted me."
"I threw out all my old clothing, dyed my hair and just made myself as ugly on the outside as I felt on the inside."
"I started drinking and taking drugs, trying anything to forget...nothing worked."
"My grades were pretty fucked up I was barely passing. It was that way for two years until I entered this competition. Whoever wrote the best essay would go to Volterra and study as an exchange student. I won and knocked those dumb fucks out of the water and here I am now. Brian do you feel better now that you know what a total screw up you took in."
She stood up and her voice was full of pain it was heartbreaking and she was looking at me with eyes full of sadness it. I stood up towering over her and wrapped one arm around her hugging her and I looked at her beautiful face the goth makeup was gone and I saw her real face for the first time, It was beautiful and flawless she was perfect.
Sarah's hair was no longer a crappy blond dye, but brown it was beautiful and natural. There was so much I wanted to say to her, but all I said was "I am glad to have met you babygirl and I am glad to finally see the beautiful goddess behind that clown makeup."
She continued to weep, but this time she was not holding back she unleashed it all and she leaned her head on my chest. I rubbed her back, comforting her as best as I could and before I knew it I leaned down and kissed her passionately. She was still crying as she kissed me back and I wondered if I was bad at kissing.
I felt something I never felt before this urge, I found myself needing to connect to Sarah, to show her I would never betray her or hurt her. I ripped off all my clothing with no effort and threw it to the side out of the shower and I pulled Sarah closer and ripped off her clothing and saw her naked body. It was beautiful, I had never seen a naked woman before. I was glad she was the first one to see, I felt hard and we embraced tightly and kissed.
Sarah's scent was amazing, the spices were still there and I felt my throat burn from thirst. I pulled back and used my nail to cut into the flesh on her neck, I needed a taste, I just had to taste it, her scent was too much to resist.
I knew if I bit her then I could not stop myself, I was too thirsty, at least this way the bloodloss was slow and would stop after a few minutes since it was small. I had no intentions of draining her dry.
I bent over and started sucking her blood. I pushed her lightly onto the shower wall and moved her hands on the wall. My hands were over her pinning her there and I continued to suck her blood it was the best blood I ever tasted. No words could describe the sensation. I could hear her heart pound and then I inserted myself into her she was so tight...it felt amazing and we made love.
I tried to be gentle I did not want to hurt her, I eventually stopped draining her blood, but found myself getting lost in passion. twenty minutes passed and I could no longer hold back as I unleashed all the pent up joy and passion inside me.
Sarah stole my heart and virginity. I looked at her and pulled myself out her legs were trembling and she fell on her knees I broke her fall as best as I could and to my shock she passed out the poor girl went through so much.
I turned the tap off and did not worry about the water bill, money is no object to a vampire.
I put her to the side and grabbed a towel gently drying her body and once I was finished drying her, I dried myself off and picked her up carrying her to her bedroom. I laid next to her we were both naked and I smiled reflecting on the day.
I had learned so much about Sarah and she finally had someone to open up to, and we even made love.
I came up with this theory, maybe my mind told me I did not need love, but my frozen heart was just waiting for this human girl to come and melt it and revive me. Yes I am sure of it now, It was Sarah, I was waiting for her and I will court her and make her mine....she will belong to me and me alone, I needed her, she was my drug and I had no intentions of quiting this habit.
Sarah's breathing shifted she started to wake up and I pretended to sleep. I did not know how her reaction would be and I was afraid...kind of stupid to be afraid of a human.
I could hear her scribbling down and I realized Sarah had a diary too....I wonder what's in it, I wondered if I was in it...maybe I should read it when she is not looking....No I think I will respect her privacy.
I mumbled her name while I pretended to sleep just to show her I had her on my mind. She finished her writing and went back to sleep. I waited till I was sure she was asleep and did not wake up again. I watched her sleep and finally decided to tell you what happened.
I feel so much better having you to confide in....that sounds girly, but it's true.
I am going to go I want to watch her sleep I never tire of watching her sleep
~Brian Jacobson
Date: may 4th, 2009
Yo Diary
I have given Sarah her present when she returned she was really touched I could see the small smile on her face, it was small, but beautiful, she thanked me and I told her it was no problem...I called her babygirl it was not something I planned, it just happened I was surprised once it left my mouth and instantly kicking myself I was scared it would frighten her away thankfully it didn't.
I had asked Sarah to play for me and she did the music was amazing, the melody's were fantastic, but what I loved even more was her voice hearing her angelic voice it was alluring it inspired me literally, all the problems I had faded away and I felt motivated. I sort of felt addicted to her singing I wanted more. I told her that she was good and I found her inspiring.
Today was an intense day I learned everything about Sarah my questions about her were answered. As per to our agreement I gave Sarah the day off, well she haven't start work yet, I thought it would be bad for her to start then have a day off only after such short time working.
I wanted to get her into a routine. I looked at the clock on my laptop and saw it was 10am. I wondered why Sarah was still in bed normally she was up and about at 7am. I went to check on her to my surprise she had locked the door.
I knocked on the door and heard no answer. I knew Sarah was awake, I could hear her breathing, it was actually slower than normal, but her heart was still beating normally so I shrugged it off and resumed checking my finances.
I wanted to buy a night club it was a random idea I know, but it was something new and I still felt inspired to try something new.
I checked back at the clock and it was 2:30 pm. I began to worry, I know she said she wanted to be alone, but I couldn't bare it I needed to see her and I needed to know that she was alright. I started banging on her door and finally I had enough... I kicked down her door not even using a fraction of my true strength.
I walked to her, swearing too fast for her weak human hearing to hear and pulled off the blankets. I looked at her in shock she was huddled up with her hands over her stomach like she was trying to hold her insides together she looked pale....almost lifeless for the longest moment.... I was afraid she was dead until I snapped out of my state of shock to hear her heart beating and her shallow breathing.
I could see she was alive, in body, but she was near dead mentally...I had to snap her out of this. I picked Sarah up from the bed and carried her to the bathroom, lowered her into the shower and turned on the cold tap, I watch her snap awake as she got soaked in the cold water.
I watched her worried, I did not know what to do if this did not bring her back, did she take any drugs? How did she sneak them past me? I don't know, I haven't been near humans in over two hundred years, should I have taken her to the hospital.
Sarah awoke from her catatonic state with a vengeance, as the blond dye slowly washed out.
She cussed at me and I climbed into the shower and sat beside her, I did not care that I was getting soaked by the water. I wrapped my arm around her and decided the only thing I could do was be there for her try yo show her she is not alone.
She told me to leave her alone and she even tried to push me away, I would have laughed, if I didn't notice the pain in her eyes.
They looked broken, like they would never sparkle with curiosity and mischief again.
I asked her what was wrong and why she was hurting so bad? She finally broke down into tears and the goth makeup washed away faster from the shower water and her tears.
She told me everything, how she never knew her father, that much I knew from the other day. She told me about her mother, her mother the waitress who had consumed too much liquor to the point of being drunk, Sarah told me this in her own words.
"I wasn't always this fuck up that you see before you, I used to be one of those sweet and innocent girls. I did my homework, avoided drugs and liquor, I made the honours roll and even made the golden promise.
I never intended to have sex until marriage, but then there was this guy who I thought I loved he was older and well not that smart...turns out I was even more of a retard, than he was .
I did his homework for him and we went out and one night we went all the way. So my first use of contraception was prayer, turns out it did not work so well. I got pregnant and I managed to hide it for a while, I eventually told my mother. She called me a slut, tramp, a no good whore that put out for any guy that came my way."
I hissed hearing the foul things her mother said, I did not know her mother, but I do know this I wanted her dead. I hugged her tighter just a little, the last thing I needed to do was kill this poor fragile girl. I listened as she continued her story.
"So my mother kicked me out she said "a whore belongs on the streets."
"I was homeless and I went to see the father but he denied the child of course, silly me to think there was such a thing as love."
"I had one last place left to turn to. My aunt's and uncle in-law. They were nice enough to take me in. My aunt was a teacher so she told the education department about my situation and got me into this distance education program."
"My aunt took real good care of me during the pregnancy. She asked if I was giving the baby up for adoption. I told her no, I wanted my baby. I wanted to give her all the love and support I never got I had plans...they were good plans."
"During the childbirth it was hard, they doped me up good, I was so stoned on and I was greatful, because it was agony, but she was worth it the Nurse helped me hold her...I don't even remember it"
Sarah broke down she was crying and seeing her in this agony it hurt me too....I did not like seeing her suffer, I leaned in closer to close off the distance
"I was so stoned my memory is hazy from the drugs. I remember my aunt coming in after they took my baby away, she told me I wouldn't be a fit mother. I was just a child, that I could never give this baby anything but misery and if I loved her as much as I said I did then I should give her up for adoption for the baby's own good.
I signed the documents at least I think I did...I don't know anymore."
"All I know is I woke up the next day asking where my baby girl was and the nurse told me."
"I asked my aunt and uncle and they said that they did me and Jayne a favor that we both deserved a normal life. I did not want a normal life, fuck being normal, I wanted Jayne..."
My uncle told me the documents were signed and that I should just move on, he told me I was welcome to stay with him and my aunt." "
The day I left, the nurse gave me a photo of Jayne, she was beautiful, she had the most amazing eyes any baby ever had. After the hospital I was dead inside...I tried to kill myself so I could be dead on the outside too."
She removed the glove from her right hand and showed me her scar. I traced my hand over it softly she did not move. I looked at her and saw the hurt in her eyes it was almost unbareable.
I wondered why she got under my skin, why is it I fell in love with her, why did she affect me so deeply and change the core of my existance?
She continued with her story
"My aunt and uncle placed me in a mental hospital. I was locked up there for six months. I kept trying to kill myself, hell they even had me in a straight jacket. I attended therapy and I hated it..... like talking would help me..it woulden't bring her back."
"What made me stop trying to kill myself was the bars. I felt like a caged bird and so I stopped."
"I was in the hospital for six months before finally being released. I returned to my aunt's, seeing as no one else wanted me."
"I threw out all my old clothing, dyed my hair and just made myself as ugly on the outside as I felt on the inside."
"I started drinking and taking drugs, trying anything to forget...nothing worked."
"My grades were pretty fucked up I was barely passing. It was that way for two years until I entered this competition. Whoever wrote the best essay would go to Volterra and study as an exchange student. I won and knocked those dumb fucks out of the water and here I am now. Brian do you feel better now that you know what a total screw up you took in."
She stood up and her voice was full of pain it was heartbreaking and she was looking at me with eyes full of sadness it. I stood up towering over her and wrapped one arm around her hugging her and I looked at her beautiful face the goth makeup was gone and I saw her real face for the first time, It was beautiful and flawless she was perfect.
Sarah's hair was no longer a crappy blond dye, but brown it was beautiful and natural. There was so much I wanted to say to her, but all I said was "I am glad to have met you babygirl and I am glad to finally see the beautiful goddess behind that clown makeup."
She continued to weep, but this time she was not holding back she unleashed it all and she leaned her head on my chest. I rubbed her back, comforting her as best as I could and before I knew it I leaned down and kissed her passionately. She was still crying as she kissed me back and I wondered if I was bad at kissing.
I felt something I never felt before this urge, I found myself needing to connect to Sarah, to show her I would never betray her or hurt her. I ripped off all my clothing with no effort and threw it to the side out of the shower and I pulled Sarah closer and ripped off her clothing and saw her naked body. It was beautiful, I had never seen a naked woman before. I was glad she was the first one to see, I felt hard and we embraced tightly and kissed.
Sarah's scent was amazing, the spices were still there and I felt my throat burn from thirst. I pulled back and used my nail to cut into the flesh on her neck, I needed a taste, I just had to taste it, her scent was too much to resist.
I knew if I bit her then I could not stop myself, I was too thirsty, at least this way the bloodloss was slow and would stop after a few minutes since it was small. I had no intentions of draining her dry.
I bent over and started sucking her blood. I pushed her lightly onto the shower wall and moved her hands on the wall. My hands were over her pinning her there and I continued to suck her blood it was the best blood I ever tasted. No words could describe the sensation. I could hear her heart pound and then I inserted myself into her she was so tight...it felt amazing and we made love.
I tried to be gentle I did not want to hurt her, I eventually stopped draining her blood, but found myself getting lost in passion. twenty minutes passed and I could no longer hold back as I unleashed all the pent up joy and passion inside me.
Sarah stole my heart and virginity. I looked at her and pulled myself out her legs were trembling and she fell on her knees I broke her fall as best as I could and to my shock she passed out the poor girl went through so much.
I turned the tap off and did not worry about the water bill, money is no object to a vampire.
I put her to the side and grabbed a towel gently drying her body and once I was finished drying her, I dried myself off and picked her up carrying her to her bedroom. I laid next to her we were both naked and I smiled reflecting on the day.
I had learned so much about Sarah and she finally had someone to open up to, and we even made love.
I came up with this theory, maybe my mind told me I did not need love, but my frozen heart was just waiting for this human girl to come and melt it and revive me. Yes I am sure of it now, It was Sarah, I was waiting for her and I will court her and make her mine....she will belong to me and me alone, I needed her, she was my drug and I had no intentions of quiting this habit.
Sarah's breathing shifted she started to wake up and I pretended to sleep. I did not know how her reaction would be and I was afraid...kind of stupid to be afraid of a human.
I could hear her scribbling down and I realized Sarah had a diary too....I wonder what's in it, I wondered if I was in it...maybe I should read it when she is not looking....No I think I will respect her privacy.
I mumbled her name while I pretended to sleep just to show her I had her on my mind. She finished her writing and went back to sleep. I waited till I was sure she was asleep and did not wake up again. I watched her sleep and finally decided to tell you what happened.
I feel so much better having you to confide in....that sounds girly, but it's true.
I am going to go I want to watch her sleep I never tire of watching her sleep
~Brian Jacobson