Post by Martin on Aug 11, 2010 16:34:02 GMT -5
Topic: I am a fool, a worthless fool. Sarah just tore my world apart and left me with a bleeding heart.
Date: June 9th, 2009
Yo Diary
Today started out like any other day, except for the dark sky this morning. The voltori were preparing themselves to return home. Aro claimed that Caius would most definitely need Marcus & his help. Jane seemed to be grouchy, while Alec and Demetri were calm. Marcus too was calm and composed. I heard Tobias wake up and watched Sarah, she seemed disinterested in the fact our son was now awake.
I went to the nursery and picked up Tobias. He was now as big as a two year old. I needed to get him a bigger bed, one that was appropriate for a child his age. Tobias seemed on edge, he was being fussy, trying to push himself away from me. "Come on little man settle down, I am not putting you back to bed, let's go see mommy, she could use some cheering up." I said to Tobias. My little man settled down and I carried him back to the lounge room to see Sarah, he was relaxed.
"We will leave tonight at eight o clock, we need to use the darkness as our cover." I thanked Aro and we walked to Sarah who was in the kitchen, her back was in front of me.
Tobias reached out for Sarah, "Our little man wants his Momma" I said to her. Sarah said nothing, her back was still turned from me and I said again "Sarah..." but she cut me off and said...."Beat it Brian, I am not in the mood." She sounded mean and distant.
Tobias kept reaching out for Sarah and was making small grunts out of frustration but Sarah stayed still for a moment before turning and slamming her hand into the counter.
The counter was completely destroyed and bits went everywhere. I blocked the parts that came near Tobias and I felt Tobias hide his face against my chest he was shivering....he was afraid of Sarah and I could not blame him. I looked at her face and saw pitch black eyes.
Sarah was thirsty and savage and acting like a newborn, but what she said next was surprising "Take the brat and fuck off, I said I am not in the mood." I was in shock, Sarah had never called Tobias such a name before. "You and I will talk about this Sarah," I hissed at her in anger. I could hear Tobias whimper and I shushed him gently, bouncing him while he had his face against my chest. "Come on little man you know moma loves you, she is just not herself at the moment"
I carried him to the nursery and I rocked him on the rocking chair holding him in my lap. Tobias was very upset, it must have been from what Sarah said. I knew the burning thirst is hard to bare and the blood lust is insane, but how could she call our son that?
I knew how much Sarah loved Tobias, why did she say it? Tobias did not cheer up, I knew one thing that could. I put some sunscreen on him and a hat on his head. Sarah was already in a foul mood, I did not need her to go ape shit on us. I carried Tobias out to the beach and I started to build a sand castle. Tobias did not have his heart in it, he looked so lifeless, so depressed, it was unnatural for a child as innocent as him.
He was so sad, he would not even look at the sand, he just made fists full of sand and then dropped it, he was so lifeless. I hated seeing my son so depressed, he was only a child, he deserved to have nothing, but laughter in his life, not this shit. I picked up my son and held him close to me, comforting him, I kissed his forehead and rubbed his back, he burped and I laughed.
Tobias watched me as my laughing slowed down and eventually stopped. I held him close and hugged him tightly in my arms.
He seemed to cheer up, I did not need to reassure him, because he knew it. "My little man, you're the most special little boy to ever exist" I said to him and he smiled and hugged me tightly. Tobias seemed to cheer up after that and started working on the sand castle with me.
We stayed out at the beach until it was time for Tobias' nap. I walked inside and did not see Sarah in the kitchen or lounge room. I went to the nursery to put him to bed and he began to fight against me he did not want to have his nap. "Come on Tobias you need to have your nap, be good for Papa"
Tobias rolled his eyes and my jaw dropped, he was so much like Sarah, it was freaky. "Don't you give me sass boy" I said to him and Tobias scowled. Sarah told me the other day that Tobias had my scowl. I don't really see myself in Tobias that much, all I see is Sarah. My son eventually settled down and I watched him sleep for awhile. He seemed to be having a bad dream, but not aware of it the way he was shuffling about.
I stood up and walked out and found Sarah now in the kitchen. She had the fridge open and was drinking one bag of blood after another. She casually threw away the blood bags. "Sarah what the hell is up with you, what are you doing?" I said to her, annoyed at the way she spoke to Tobias and me. Sarah ignored me and kept feeding on the blood.
I went to her and I grabbed her arm, she turned and punched me in the chest with such force it knocked me flying through the kitchen and into the hallway. I landed with a thud and got back up. I went tback to her, "Sarah what the hell is wrong with you?" She hissed violently and resumed drinking the blood. Marcus came to investigate. I left Sarah alone and returned to the nursery, trying to remember what I did wrong.
Tobias worked up and I went to the fridge, there was two bags of blood left, it would be enough for today. I grabbed the bag of blood and put it in the bottle to feed my son. I smiled at him and hid my concern. He was only a child and did not need to see my worries. He just needed to have a happy childhood.
We spent the rest of the day with Tobias in the nursery. We found lots of things to do, he was playing with his toy's and I played with him. It was around eight pm and Marcus announced they were leaving. I went out holding Tobias and saw Sarah was hugging Marcus. She leaned in and kissed him on the lips slipping her tongue into his mouth.
I stared at her in shock, but the others did not look surprised, well except for Jane, she was watching and it looked like she was about to throw up and I was right there with her. I felt sick to my stomach seeing MY WOMAN kiss Marcus.
I moved to Sarah and with one hand grabbed her arm and pulled her to me. "Are you fucking mad?"
Marcus left out a hiss.
Sarah looked at me with hate in her eyes.
"Unhand me!" she said.
I refused to let go and she reached up her hand touching my neck, she lifted me up and Tobias seemed uncomfortable.
She threw us across the room. I used my body as a shield to protect our son I sat up slowly and Tobias whimpered he was unharmed, but shaken from the event.
Something was wrong with Sarah, she put her arm around Marcus' waist and I snarled "What are you doing?" Sarah ignored me and looked at Marcus.
"You can see he is not exactly the smartest man on the world. He was easy to use."
Marcus nodded.
"What's the meaning of this" I yelled out and ignored Tobias' shiver.
Sarah sighed and looked at Tobias and I before she said
"I am going to have to explain this to you....you are a fool Brian jacobson, you're naive and innocent, unable to see when someone is using you." I looked at Sarah in confusion
Sarah looked at me and laughed. "from the very moment I first met you, I thought to myself, there is a sucker I can con. I saw how nice the place in Volterra was and could see you were wealthy. I thought I hit the big time and I had no idea how right I was Brian. So i made up everything, the story about getting knocked up at an early age, being kicked out everything. I did everything to rope you in so I could take your money."
I looked at Sarah in horror.
"That's a lie" I yelled.
"Keep telling yourself that Brian, I had everything planned, well almost everything, I did not expect to get knocked up and give birth to a little freak." I let out a hiss and put my hand over Tobias head Sarah was being really mean.
"Sarah you don't mean that, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I snarled out.
Sarah just laughed, "I do mean it how could I love a little bastard who broke my body and made me feel weak...the only good thing about carrying the little freak is the fact that I gained immortality from it."
I snarled at Sarah "SHUT UP IT'S NOT TRUE, WHY ARE YOU SAYING SUCH AWFUL THINGS, SARAH?"
Sarah smiled as Marcus kissed her neck.
"Because it's the truth Brian. In life you're the one fucking people or your the one getting fucked. Love is nothing, but illusion, all that's true, all that you can count on is power...everything else is just an unnessary burden. " She spoke so coldly and ruthlessly I could not believe this was my babygirl.
Sarah was starting to sound a lot like Aro.
"But Sarah," She cut me off and said "Jane." Jane looked at Sarah then to me and then I felt pure agony. I fell to my knees and held Tobias. He was quiet, but fine, Jane was only doing her damned gift on me.
"Do you see now the power I possess, Jane hates me, she would rather be doing this on me than you. I am the one in control, you see this Brian, this is the story of my life and you are no longer a part of it, neither is the freak. So keep him and never ever show yourself to me again or I will have you both killed."
I hissed at her in anger. "So it was all a lie then..you never loved me....us, you just wanted my money." I accused her.
Sarah smiled, "very good Brian you're starting to catch on, your not as dumb as I thought you were....I would say I am sorry to you for letting you think you would have a picture perfect family, but I am not...I excel at not giving a shit." she said and then laughed darkly at the end. Aro chuckled while Marcus had his hand aound Sarah's stomach.
I did not want to believe this. "If this is true, then Sarah you will nave no problem giving me the engagement ring back." Sarah nodded she turned her back from me and stayed still for a moment, she then threw the ring over her shoulder. "Why would I settle for being a millionaire when I can be queen of the vampires." she said not turning to face me. I watched as she petted Marcus' cheek. The pain finally stopped and I stood up watching as Marcus leaned down and kissed Sarah.
My heart was breaking watching the woman I loved kiss another man and all the hurtful things she had said.
"Thats fine by me, you heartless bitch, pray that we never meet again, because if we do I will rip your fucking head off you manipulitive heartless bitch! As for you Aro, you knew this all along and you allowed it to happen. You enjoyed my humilation well I am no longer a friend of the Voltori either." I spat out in hate. Sarah stopped kissing Marcus and kept her back to me.
Aro was about to speak when Sarah cut him off. "Why would king Aro need the help of a powerless fool when he has me to inspire his army."
Tobias moved his head from my chest and he looked at Sarah, "Momma" He said.
I was in shock Tobias spoke his first word, he called for his mother. I held onto him tightly as he began to cry "I think it's time we leave this freak and fool," Sarah said, her voice was slightly shaking.
I thought Sarah was having second thoughts until she said "Jane why dont you show Tobias your gift." Her voice was cold.
"NO" I hissed, as Jane turned her head, I turned my back so Jane could not see Tobias and took the full blast of her 'gift'.
I was on my knees in agony as venom dripped from my nose, Tobias was crying his eyes out. "It's ok little man, Papa is ok." I hissed through the pain.
"Well done Jane," Sarah said. "I hate you Sarah," I hissed, Sarah chuckled....."Good!"
The pain stopped and I got up and turned to face her, Alec was now beside Sarah. "It's best to be safe, I am knocking Sarah out until we return home," Alec sid to Marcus. Marcus nodded his head, "Say goodnight Sarah," Marcus said to Sarah.
Sarah did not look at Tobias or me as our son called out for his mother again.
"Goodnight!" She said softly to Marcus. She instantly fell to the ground only to be caught by Marcus. I stood there and watched as the Voltori left with the only woman I had ever loved and the woman I wanted to kill.
I returned inside and walked to the nursery. Tobias cried the entire night, I craddled him in my arms. He knew what was happening, the poor little man finally cried himself to sleep, while he slept, I went around the house and packed up Sarah's things into a box. I saw her Diary on the bed side table, next to the picture of her and I together. She was heavily pregnant in that photo.
Sarah spoke of this photo, despite all she had said and done. I thought she looked beautiful in it. I really thought we were happy, but I was wrong, she used me and for that I can not forgive her.
I packed the photo of her and considered reading her diary.....no that bitch had messed with my head and my heart, there is no way I want to get into her head and see the darkness in her mind. I packed her diary with the photo and everything else the guitar and keyboard and locked it in the shed.
I sit in the nursery watching my son now and am telling you this, the reason is this I am going to kill the Voltori for making a fool of me and after im done with the Voltori, Sarah is next!
Brian Jacobson
Date: June 9th, 2009
Yo Diary
Today started out like any other day, except for the dark sky this morning. The voltori were preparing themselves to return home. Aro claimed that Caius would most definitely need Marcus & his help. Jane seemed to be grouchy, while Alec and Demetri were calm. Marcus too was calm and composed. I heard Tobias wake up and watched Sarah, she seemed disinterested in the fact our son was now awake.
I went to the nursery and picked up Tobias. He was now as big as a two year old. I needed to get him a bigger bed, one that was appropriate for a child his age. Tobias seemed on edge, he was being fussy, trying to push himself away from me. "Come on little man settle down, I am not putting you back to bed, let's go see mommy, she could use some cheering up." I said to Tobias. My little man settled down and I carried him back to the lounge room to see Sarah, he was relaxed.
"We will leave tonight at eight o clock, we need to use the darkness as our cover." I thanked Aro and we walked to Sarah who was in the kitchen, her back was in front of me.
Tobias reached out for Sarah, "Our little man wants his Momma" I said to her. Sarah said nothing, her back was still turned from me and I said again "Sarah..." but she cut me off and said...."Beat it Brian, I am not in the mood." She sounded mean and distant.
Tobias kept reaching out for Sarah and was making small grunts out of frustration but Sarah stayed still for a moment before turning and slamming her hand into the counter.
The counter was completely destroyed and bits went everywhere. I blocked the parts that came near Tobias and I felt Tobias hide his face against my chest he was shivering....he was afraid of Sarah and I could not blame him. I looked at her face and saw pitch black eyes.
Sarah was thirsty and savage and acting like a newborn, but what she said next was surprising "Take the brat and fuck off, I said I am not in the mood." I was in shock, Sarah had never called Tobias such a name before. "You and I will talk about this Sarah," I hissed at her in anger. I could hear Tobias whimper and I shushed him gently, bouncing him while he had his face against my chest. "Come on little man you know moma loves you, she is just not herself at the moment"
I carried him to the nursery and I rocked him on the rocking chair holding him in my lap. Tobias was very upset, it must have been from what Sarah said. I knew the burning thirst is hard to bare and the blood lust is insane, but how could she call our son that?
I knew how much Sarah loved Tobias, why did she say it? Tobias did not cheer up, I knew one thing that could. I put some sunscreen on him and a hat on his head. Sarah was already in a foul mood, I did not need her to go ape shit on us. I carried Tobias out to the beach and I started to build a sand castle. Tobias did not have his heart in it, he looked so lifeless, so depressed, it was unnatural for a child as innocent as him.
He was so sad, he would not even look at the sand, he just made fists full of sand and then dropped it, he was so lifeless. I hated seeing my son so depressed, he was only a child, he deserved to have nothing, but laughter in his life, not this shit. I picked up my son and held him close to me, comforting him, I kissed his forehead and rubbed his back, he burped and I laughed.
Tobias watched me as my laughing slowed down and eventually stopped. I held him close and hugged him tightly in my arms.
He seemed to cheer up, I did not need to reassure him, because he knew it. "My little man, you're the most special little boy to ever exist" I said to him and he smiled and hugged me tightly. Tobias seemed to cheer up after that and started working on the sand castle with me.
We stayed out at the beach until it was time for Tobias' nap. I walked inside and did not see Sarah in the kitchen or lounge room. I went to the nursery to put him to bed and he began to fight against me he did not want to have his nap. "Come on Tobias you need to have your nap, be good for Papa"
Tobias rolled his eyes and my jaw dropped, he was so much like Sarah, it was freaky. "Don't you give me sass boy" I said to him and Tobias scowled. Sarah told me the other day that Tobias had my scowl. I don't really see myself in Tobias that much, all I see is Sarah. My son eventually settled down and I watched him sleep for awhile. He seemed to be having a bad dream, but not aware of it the way he was shuffling about.
I stood up and walked out and found Sarah now in the kitchen. She had the fridge open and was drinking one bag of blood after another. She casually threw away the blood bags. "Sarah what the hell is up with you, what are you doing?" I said to her, annoyed at the way she spoke to Tobias and me. Sarah ignored me and kept feeding on the blood.
I went to her and I grabbed her arm, she turned and punched me in the chest with such force it knocked me flying through the kitchen and into the hallway. I landed with a thud and got back up. I went tback to her, "Sarah what the hell is wrong with you?" She hissed violently and resumed drinking the blood. Marcus came to investigate. I left Sarah alone and returned to the nursery, trying to remember what I did wrong.
Tobias worked up and I went to the fridge, there was two bags of blood left, it would be enough for today. I grabbed the bag of blood and put it in the bottle to feed my son. I smiled at him and hid my concern. He was only a child and did not need to see my worries. He just needed to have a happy childhood.
We spent the rest of the day with Tobias in the nursery. We found lots of things to do, he was playing with his toy's and I played with him. It was around eight pm and Marcus announced they were leaving. I went out holding Tobias and saw Sarah was hugging Marcus. She leaned in and kissed him on the lips slipping her tongue into his mouth.
I stared at her in shock, but the others did not look surprised, well except for Jane, she was watching and it looked like she was about to throw up and I was right there with her. I felt sick to my stomach seeing MY WOMAN kiss Marcus.
I moved to Sarah and with one hand grabbed her arm and pulled her to me. "Are you fucking mad?"
Marcus left out a hiss.
Sarah looked at me with hate in her eyes.
"Unhand me!" she said.
I refused to let go and she reached up her hand touching my neck, she lifted me up and Tobias seemed uncomfortable.
She threw us across the room. I used my body as a shield to protect our son I sat up slowly and Tobias whimpered he was unharmed, but shaken from the event.
Something was wrong with Sarah, she put her arm around Marcus' waist and I snarled "What are you doing?" Sarah ignored me and looked at Marcus.
"You can see he is not exactly the smartest man on the world. He was easy to use."
Marcus nodded.
"What's the meaning of this" I yelled out and ignored Tobias' shiver.
Sarah sighed and looked at Tobias and I before she said
"I am going to have to explain this to you....you are a fool Brian jacobson, you're naive and innocent, unable to see when someone is using you." I looked at Sarah in confusion
Sarah looked at me and laughed. "from the very moment I first met you, I thought to myself, there is a sucker I can con. I saw how nice the place in Volterra was and could see you were wealthy. I thought I hit the big time and I had no idea how right I was Brian. So i made up everything, the story about getting knocked up at an early age, being kicked out everything. I did everything to rope you in so I could take your money."
I looked at Sarah in horror.
"That's a lie" I yelled.
"Keep telling yourself that Brian, I had everything planned, well almost everything, I did not expect to get knocked up and give birth to a little freak." I let out a hiss and put my hand over Tobias head Sarah was being really mean.
"Sarah you don't mean that, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I snarled out.
Sarah just laughed, "I do mean it how could I love a little bastard who broke my body and made me feel weak...the only good thing about carrying the little freak is the fact that I gained immortality from it."
I snarled at Sarah "SHUT UP IT'S NOT TRUE, WHY ARE YOU SAYING SUCH AWFUL THINGS, SARAH?"
Sarah smiled as Marcus kissed her neck.
"Because it's the truth Brian. In life you're the one fucking people or your the one getting fucked. Love is nothing, but illusion, all that's true, all that you can count on is power...everything else is just an unnessary burden. " She spoke so coldly and ruthlessly I could not believe this was my babygirl.
Sarah was starting to sound a lot like Aro.
"But Sarah," She cut me off and said "Jane." Jane looked at Sarah then to me and then I felt pure agony. I fell to my knees and held Tobias. He was quiet, but fine, Jane was only doing her damned gift on me.
"Do you see now the power I possess, Jane hates me, she would rather be doing this on me than you. I am the one in control, you see this Brian, this is the story of my life and you are no longer a part of it, neither is the freak. So keep him and never ever show yourself to me again or I will have you both killed."
I hissed at her in anger. "So it was all a lie then..you never loved me....us, you just wanted my money." I accused her.
Sarah smiled, "very good Brian you're starting to catch on, your not as dumb as I thought you were....I would say I am sorry to you for letting you think you would have a picture perfect family, but I am not...I excel at not giving a shit." she said and then laughed darkly at the end. Aro chuckled while Marcus had his hand aound Sarah's stomach.
I did not want to believe this. "If this is true, then Sarah you will nave no problem giving me the engagement ring back." Sarah nodded she turned her back from me and stayed still for a moment, she then threw the ring over her shoulder. "Why would I settle for being a millionaire when I can be queen of the vampires." she said not turning to face me. I watched as she petted Marcus' cheek. The pain finally stopped and I stood up watching as Marcus leaned down and kissed Sarah.
My heart was breaking watching the woman I loved kiss another man and all the hurtful things she had said.
"Thats fine by me, you heartless bitch, pray that we never meet again, because if we do I will rip your fucking head off you manipulitive heartless bitch! As for you Aro, you knew this all along and you allowed it to happen. You enjoyed my humilation well I am no longer a friend of the Voltori either." I spat out in hate. Sarah stopped kissing Marcus and kept her back to me.
Aro was about to speak when Sarah cut him off. "Why would king Aro need the help of a powerless fool when he has me to inspire his army."
Tobias moved his head from my chest and he looked at Sarah, "Momma" He said.
I was in shock Tobias spoke his first word, he called for his mother. I held onto him tightly as he began to cry "I think it's time we leave this freak and fool," Sarah said, her voice was slightly shaking.
I thought Sarah was having second thoughts until she said "Jane why dont you show Tobias your gift." Her voice was cold.
"NO" I hissed, as Jane turned her head, I turned my back so Jane could not see Tobias and took the full blast of her 'gift'.
I was on my knees in agony as venom dripped from my nose, Tobias was crying his eyes out. "It's ok little man, Papa is ok." I hissed through the pain.
"Well done Jane," Sarah said. "I hate you Sarah," I hissed, Sarah chuckled....."Good!"
The pain stopped and I got up and turned to face her, Alec was now beside Sarah. "It's best to be safe, I am knocking Sarah out until we return home," Alec sid to Marcus. Marcus nodded his head, "Say goodnight Sarah," Marcus said to Sarah.
Sarah did not look at Tobias or me as our son called out for his mother again.
"Goodnight!" She said softly to Marcus. She instantly fell to the ground only to be caught by Marcus. I stood there and watched as the Voltori left with the only woman I had ever loved and the woman I wanted to kill.
I returned inside and walked to the nursery. Tobias cried the entire night, I craddled him in my arms. He knew what was happening, the poor little man finally cried himself to sleep, while he slept, I went around the house and packed up Sarah's things into a box. I saw her Diary on the bed side table, next to the picture of her and I together. She was heavily pregnant in that photo.
Sarah spoke of this photo, despite all she had said and done. I thought she looked beautiful in it. I really thought we were happy, but I was wrong, she used me and for that I can not forgive her.
I packed the photo of her and considered reading her diary.....no that bitch had messed with my head and my heart, there is no way I want to get into her head and see the darkness in her mind. I packed her diary with the photo and everything else the guitar and keyboard and locked it in the shed.
I sit in the nursery watching my son now and am telling you this, the reason is this I am going to kill the Voltori for making a fool of me and after im done with the Voltori, Sarah is next!
Brian Jacobson